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A Poem For Mariah Carey's 'The Distance,' Featuring Ty Dolla $ign

Mariah Carey's <em>Caution</em> comes out Nov. 16.
Rich Fury
Getty Images for iHeartMedia
Mariah Carey's Caution comes out Nov. 16.

With apologies to Elizabeth Barrett Browning. This poem does not scan.

Mariah Carey, how do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and sultry beats of "GTFO"
Your Caymus bottle makes me intoxicated so
I love thee in the slow-burning storm of "With You"
Most quiet ballad, ascribing Bone Thugs, too
Now I love "The Distance," a sweaty bop that sets my heart ablaze
As my queen raps with Ty Dolla $ign in hater's-gonna-hate phrase
In your old griefs, and with my stanning faith awash in
There awaits a stunning classic in Caution.

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