This story originally appeared in "FLUX," a publication produced by students at the University of Oregon.
“One day I'm going to die at sea,” Josh Porter said as he walked into his living room to greet his wife, Denise. He was fresh off the crabbing boat, the fishy, salty smell permeating his clothes. “You need to be a part of the Fishermen's Wives," he said. “They're the ones that are going to be there for you.”
A year and a half later, on Jan. 8, 2019, the crabbing boat Mary B II capsized, pulling Josh, two other crew members and its captain down with it.
Josh made the last-minute decision to join the crew aboard the boat. Members of the town warned him of the captain's history with substance abuse and disregard for harsh weather conditions. He believed he could help the man and accepted the job.
When Josh passed away, it was only his second trip on the crabbing boat, and a day before he was slated to join a different crew. According to toxicology reports, the captain of the ship had alcohol and methamphetamine in his system when the boat overturned.
Five years after her husband’s death, Denise stands at the Newport Fishermen's Memorial on a bluff overlooking the sea that took his life. She visits every other week. Pictures of lost loved ones, candles, birthday cards and bouquets of vibrant daffodils and hydrangeas adorn the memorial. Engraved on its side are the names of approximately 150 Lincoln County fishermen who have died at sea since 1900.
A photo of Josh sits atop the memorial just above the engraved names. Denise reaches out to lovingly dust the dark wooden frame. She is now the vice president of the Newport Fishermen's Wives. The group has helped her navigate life after losing Josh.
“I became a part of something,” Denise said. “Before I was a part of fishing, I was part of Josh. Now I'm a part of a community.”
Fishing communities all share one thing in common: their town’s dynamics shift when fishermen leave for months at a time. In Oregon, nearly 1,000 fishing vessels depart from the state each year. Over 300 of those boats touch base in Yaquina Bay, the port of Newport, Oregon, where many of those left on shore must endure the unpredictability of the fishing industry. One group supports the unique needs of Newport’s community, their fishermen and their families.
The Newport Fishermen's Wives was first established in 1970. It’s the only nonprofit of its kind on the West Coast. What was first a social club has become the backbone of the town in the last 54 years.
Co-president Taunette Dixon was raised within the fishing community of Newport and inherited the responsibilities of the generations before her. Growing up, Taunette spent her fair share of time on a fishing boat.
“When I graduated high school, I was shipped off with my grandfather to go fishing for eight months,” said Taunette. “There are so many life lessons you learn when you’re out at sea and there’s no one there to rescue you. If you’re in a fishing family, you usually just kind of have it in your blood.”
When Taunette and her husband decided to have children, her life on land expanded to motherhood. She had two children, Kalli and Kaino.
After Taunette lost her 28-year-old son, Kaino, to a car accident in August 2022, her world turned upside down. She credits the Fishermen's Wives for helping her through. They surrounded her with love, planned her son's memorial and left meals at her door for months on end.
“After I lost my son, I thought I really needed to take a break,” Taunette said.
Taunette didn’t take a break. In fact, her role as a community resource only grew. After losing someone, she knows what grieving families need.
Her home pottery studio doubles as a therapy office of sorts. Inside, sunlight beams through the windows, illuminating shelves stacked carefully with clay vases and mugs. Every surface is covered in clay dust. In the back of the room sits two throwing wheels accompanied by a pair of wooden stools. Denise and Taunette often sit together, not only to sculpt but to discuss their losses.
“It made me so calm when we talked about our tragedy there,” Denise said. “She can cry. I can cry, and I think there's so much freedom in crying in front of somebody that isn't judging you.”
Taunette values having a space she can share with the community. She invites the wives and their children into her studio to create Christmas ornaments every year. It’s an opportunity for the group to be together, outside the heavy work they do.
One of the newest members of the organization, Ashlie Freeman, knew nothing about fishing three years ago. Then she fell in love with a fisherman after moving from Las Vegas to the Oregon Coast. She cares for her toddler, Aurora, alone while her husband, George, is away for six months at a time fishing in Alaska.
One day, Ashlie met Denise and expressed her difficulty finding friends, more specifically women, who understood what she was going through.
“There’s a lot of people out there that are like, ‘I don’t know how you do it, having your husband gone for that long,’” Ashlie said. “I’m like, ‘Well, soldiers do it all the time.’ It's nice to be a part of something where we're also taking care of our fishermen husbands as well. They're not just taking care of us.”
Without hesitation, Denise invited Ashlie to meet the Newport Fishermen's Wives, who welcomed her with open arms. She is involved with various volunteer groups, such as the Red Cross, Salvation Army and the Newport Food Pantry, but she has never experienced a sense of belonging the way she has with the wives.
Over the past year, the treasurer of Newport Fishermen’s Wives, Carrie Brandberg, has become one of Ashlie’s closest friends. Since Ashlie does not have her driver’s license, Brandberg drives her around to run errands, make appointments and attend meetings. This is something Ashlie’s husband does when he is home.
“I think I'd probably go into a depression if I didn't have this group of women,” Ashlie said. “I feel like the more I'm around them, as confident as they are, I want to be that way.”
Now, Ashlie is the volunteer coordinator for the Fishermen’s Wives. She helps to organize annual events such as the Fishermen’s Appreciation Day dinner and the Blessing of the Fleet, which takes place at the Fishermen’s Memorial Sanctuary gazebo.
The space not only serves as a meeting place for community events, but a personal place for Denise.
Sitting at one of the 12 benches facing the pedestal, she recalled the moment a few years prior, when she sat in the same gazebo in a daze. It was packed with people paying their respects to her husband, just days after his death.
The Fishermen’s Wives organized the memorial service for Josh, and Denise didn’t have to lift a finger. The town showed up for her and gathered around this tragedy. It was the largest turn out for a memorial service they had ever seen.
“At the memorial, I remember one fisherman that came in,” Denise said. “He had fished with Josh on another boat.”
Denise’s face lit up as she remembered the scene.
“He smelled like crap,” she said. “I just remember, he gave me a hug. He had just come running up from the docks and he said, ‘I just got off the boat. I'm sorry.’ I just said, ‘Oh my God, I miss that smell already.’ It's comforting, because those are my smells.”
The Fishermen’s Wives taught Denise how to thrive within a tight-knit fishing community. She thought about moving back to her hometown in Washington after her husband passed away, but eventually decided she had no reason to. Newport is her home now, and despite all she has lost, the wives have given back to her.
“Josh, he was my protector,” Denise said. “He was the person that walked through everything with me, and that's what they’ve been. They've been my Josh.”
